


Way Back Home

by backinthebox



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Captain Marvel (2019) Spoilers, F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 13:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18801322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/backinthebox/pseuds/backinthebox
Summary: Maybe she should have answered Fury's distress signal first, the minute she entered Earth's atmosphere, but there was such a thing as priorities, and her family would always, always come first.





	Way Back Home

The feeling of helplessness, as much as she hates it and as much as she knows Maria would shake her head in silent reprimand for even thinking it, is that it feels a lot like failure. Rationally, Carol understands that she had been galaxies away, saving another civilization – saving _lives_ – and how was she supposed to have known?

Thanos was a known threat in the universe, he had been terrorizing civilizations for ages, how was she supposed to have known he had seen an opportunity and seized it, that Infinity Stones had all been within grasp and he had known how to get them?

She had been struck with confusion and horror when people around her started vanishing, disappearing into ashes, not understanding what could possibly have happened to cause such an event... It was only when her communicator received the signal from the device she had given Fury, all those years ago, that the confusion not so much settled, but gave her something to focus on.

Because it couldn't be a coincidence, something like that happening on some distant planet in some other galaxy, and Fury using the pager.

Which meant that whatever was happening, in that planet and galaxy and possibly in other neighboring worlds... it was happening on Earth.

And the first thing that came to mind, amid the horror of what she was witnessing, was _Maria_. Followed immediately by _Monica_.

Whatever it was, it was putting Maria and Monica at risk, and there's no hesitation to her impulse to head towards C-53, towards Earth, towards _home_.

And she hates that for all her powers, she still needs to make the occasional stop, to regroup and recharge, and she knows – she _knows_ – that each stop is a second she really cannot afford, even if it was necessary.

And _maybe_ she should have answered Fury's distress signal first, the minute she entered Earth's atmosphere, but there was such a thing as priorities, and her family would always, _always_ come first.

She could say she had prepared for it, known the odds, known the truth when neither Maria or Monica were answering her messages from the communicators she had provided each of them; she could say she had braced herself for what she would find, but finding the house empty, with Monica's things left on the kitchen table, her preferred workspace when she was home, and Maria's tools in her shed out in the open, something she would never have allowed, only confirmed her worst fears, and she can't even feel guilty about the photon blast she sent through the woods surrounding Maria's property, because the woods was a better target than blowing a hole through the house. Or throwing the plane under repair in Maria's shed at any vague target.

Hopefully, Fury would give her an even better target.

Except he's not with his pager, and the group gathered around it take fighting stances when she shows up in their headquarters – in hindsight, she thinks she should feel guilty about never even bothering to check in with Fury's pet project, _The_ _Avengers_ , but she'd read the reports and both Maria and Monica have told her all about what they've done, and she trusted Fury to know what he was doing (definitely with Hill being constantly on his six) – but after a quick explanation of who she was, and that she was a friend of Fury's, she gets an explanation in turn.

That's when the guilt kicks in. The sense of failure.

She should have known. She should have taken the threat more seriously, noticed how the Infinity Stones factored in one too many events in recent years, heeded the rumors she only half-listened to. She could have paid closer attention, taken note that the Tesseract had been on Earth, that Dark Elves had attacked Earth because of the Aether, that Loki and his sceptre had led the Chitauri attack _on Earth_.

But rumours had pointed in the direction of Xandar, and destruction had reigned in Thanos' trail.

Xandar. She hadn't known what Thanos had wanted in Xandar, hadn't understood what would warrant the destruction that had greeted her there. (She should have _known_.)

She had no doubt that somewhere, the Supreme Intelligence, wearing Lawson's face, would laugh at her stupidity, her naïvete, the very fact that the clues had all been in front of her, but her pride in her abilities, and her confidence in the Avengers' abilities, had all proven futile.

She could travel at hypersonic speeds, across a galaxy or two in a single burst of speed, and she had still been too late to save the people she cared about most.

If only she'd been closer. If only she'd known. If only she had heeded her desire to stay closer to her family and been on Earth.

If only, if only, _if only_.

Could she have stopped Thanos? She can't say for sure, but she sure could have tried. And with the roster of heroes standing with her in their headquarters, there's no saying that maybe they could have.

There's that Kree training, and the irony doesn't escape her: noble warrior heroes, striding into battle, and even if they all went down in battle, the heroism was in facing down the enemy and _fighting_.

They try to come up with a plan, even while still reeling from the loss, but they don't know where Thanos is and they don't exactly have a means of transportation even if they did, and she's trying really hard to stay still and focus and be helpful beyond cleanup and trying to put some semblance of order back into people's lives, but the grief and anger won't let her rest, even while hiding it under the mask of a stoic soldier – a soldier who stands and listens and take orders and needs to fight and reminds her a lot of _Vers_ – and finally Rocket – she hates that the most familiar face in a room full of people is a freaking _raccoon_ – tells her he hasn't heard from the Guardians since the whole thing went down, and she's grateful to be given something to _do_.

Natasha tells her about some of their own being missing – she's seen the images, tamps down the guilt at the familiar faces labelled _missing_ or _dead_ – and tells her about Tony Stark's last known location, the signal from a tracker embedded in his Iron Man suit that Pepper Potts had provided, and it had been heading out into space, and if she's heading in that direction anyway...

Finding him, in the Guardians' ship, is a minor victory. Too minor for her to really count, but given the massive loss they've gotten, she'll take it.

The bittersweet reunion is short lived, though, because apparently there's some leftover resentment between him and the other clear leader of the group – _Captain America_ , and, he is everything history books purported him to be, even if she recognizes in him the same weight of the world she carries – which leaves them all wondering what to do next, since Iron Man failed to stop Thanos, Captain America had failed to stop Thanos, _Thor_ had failed to stop Thanos, and—

They had faced him when he had already started collecting Infinity Stones, though. When he had just been an intergalactic terrorist, could he really have stood a chance against someone powered by the same energy as the Tesseract?

When Rhodes questions her about wanting to just find Thanos and beat the ever living crap out of him – and get the gems back, obviously, undoing this whole mess is a priority – and dares to bring up where the hell she'd been, she's just...

She's tired. Not physically – it took a lot more than space travel to do that – but she's tired of just waiting for something to do. She could go after Thanos herself, but going after him while he's superpowered by the Infinity Stones is a risk, but going after him with Thor and Captain America tips the scales in their favor.

It _should_. In theory.

It has to.

It does.

They're too late, but it answers a few questions for her.

She could have defeated Thanos.

If she'd been smarter, more cunning, more ruthless, more aware.

Maria always did try to remind her to keep her head on her shoulders.

As opposed to all the other times when she thinks about Maria, this one isn't much of a comforting thought.

 


End file.
